Ah! The people we meet in planes.
I’ve heard a bunch of airplane stereotypes in my life and often, they involved flight attendants. The ones I am going to share here relate all the weird encounters I’ve made in the skies with fellow passengers.
Honestly, if you are going to share quality time in the confinement of a plane cabin with others, for the sake of humanity, please do not be that guy.
The Binge Drinkers
They usually travel by pair. If not, poor you for sitting next to them. This is the loud festive bunch trapped in a permanent Saint Pattie. They are the party, and the flight attendants better have a certification in mixology.
We all know at least one person who fits this airplane stereotype. This is the guy who has a million-dollar deal riding on that call he is making (at least, that is the impression they give). They cannot get off the phone, or stop texting until the flight device police comes knocking.
“I’m sexy and I know it”, and I know you know it too but you are too shy to admit it. Therefore, I will go ahead and hit on you until the flight ends.
That is a quick summary of the thoughts of the dude in the other seat, who is convinced that no one can resist his charms during a whole flight. Thank god, I never experienced this but if you did, can I get an “amen”? Better yet, a like!
By the time the plane doors open and you get off that plane, their life, family history, and Facebook friend list will be familiar to you. To them, nothing could be more interesting than listening to their rambling, not that book you have in your hands nor the inflight entertainment.
He goes shoeless, is super relaxed, almost so relaxed he literally forgets everything about manners. Give him Netflix on one of those tiny TVs and he will turn that plane seat into his living-room sofa.
He is a close cousin of the shoeless one. He knows no boundaries. It starts with the bag put under your chair. It goes on with occupying both armrests, and it ends with snoring and the head seeking your poor elbow as a pillow.
The Walking Dead
This is probably the airplane stereotype that we all fear the most. I am talking about that gaunt, colorless runny-nose in the next seat. They will cough persistently making no efforts to cover their bacteria blasts, leaving you with flashes from every biohazard movie you have ever seen.
Dr. House, we have an emergency!
The Restroom tripper
Two words: bladder control!
Honestly, it has to be something else. It is not human to hit the restroom so often. They will have you wondering if something (or someone) else is not on in there. Funny fact, Restroom Trippers always book themselves a window seat or the seat in the center of the aisle. As if they purposely want to kick and step over you every 15 minutes or so.
Rest assured. I mean Al, not Ted.
This is your dysfunctional family coming straight out of a sitcom. You have the disinterested dad, the hyperactive preteen, and the crying baby who is desperately trying to point out to her parents what the whole cabin already spotted: Those diapers need changing and changing fast before the whole plane gets quarantined.
Well, there goes my top 10 of airplane stereotypes. Let’s keep the dice rolling here. Everybody should add at least one more in the comment box. Next week, we will vote for the most original one and throw a prize.